David King kicked seven goals in an AFL final

It was an AFL final – at the MCG – but the game was over by quarter time. That sounds dramatic, and unlikely, but it’s true. It was a Qualifying Final – on August 12, 2000 – between Essendon and North Melbourne. By quarter time Essendon lead by 29 points, which doesn’t sound too dramatic except that Essendon had kicked nine goals in that first quarter to achieve it. The game was over by quarter time though because every important Essendon player had starred in that quarter. Every North Melbourne supporter looking on thought, even before the quarter time siren: look out, Essendon is on.

Essendon lead by 57 points at half time, by 101 points by ¾ time, and by 125 points by the final siren. Essendon kicked 31 goals for the game, in a final. Lloyd kicked seven. Hird kicked five. Joe Misiti kicked four.

I was just now walking along a train line, and as a suburban train passed I suddenly found myself transported in time, back to watching that game. The sight of a moving train can do that to you. Once transported in my mind, this sentence then came to mind. David King once kicked seven goals in a final, in a losing side, playing at half-back.

Seven goals in an AFL final from half-back? Really?

So as I walked, I googled this fact. It sounded improbable and yet I remembered it clearly. David King played for North Melbourne, and so – if I was right – David King kicked seven goals in an AFL final in a team that was getting walloped.

Google AI answered: No, David King did not kick seven goals in an AFL final.

So I then googled this: Did David King kick eight goals in an AFL final?

No, it answered.

Six?

No, it answered. He was a half-back. He didn’t kick bags of goals.

Okay then, maybe time has elaborated. Five?

No, Google ai said again. David King has never kicked five goals in an AFL final.

So then – still walking – I went digging, away from AI. I eventually found this stat sheet. Turns out that DAVID KING REALLY DID KICK SEVEN GOALS IN AN AFL FINAL!, as a half-back.

Seven of his team’s total of eleven goals, no less. If David King hadn’t been playing that day North Melbourne might have lost by 295 points. Roughly.

So google was wrong. In fact google hasn’t read its own search results. David King was a great half-back flanker, which is the point here. This seven-goals-in-an-AFL-final performance should be in his CV (it’s currently not). Whether or not he was actually playing half-back on that particular day and had moved further up the ground is a point which is, well, both moot and not worth remembering.