Mental Health

Every now and then I hunker down and write a book or a proposal for a book or a short story or a script or something creative, and then I draft it and re-draft it and re-draft it, and when I’m wrung out fully and know that I cannot possibly do any better I send this thing, whatever it is, out into the world and then wait for someone or someones to cast their judgement. I know this side of the fence – the side where your heart is on the line, your life really, your breath, as someone or someones decides whether the thing that you have poured yourself into has merit, or has something, or has nothing.

Because I am so familiar with this side of the fence, and know the devastation of it, I never wanted to be a critic. I never wanted to be the person sitting in judgement of all that work and of all that hope. I wanted, simply, to be a writer, and a reporter, and a photographer. I’ve been a critic though for most of my adult life, and it’s a life that’s been good to me. But I’ve never felt comfortable in this role; I look at the mountain of wines that forever surround me, and listen to the pitches, and read the press releases, and think to myself: every one of these bottles and these stories is someone’s land, someone’s work, someone’s dream, someone’s heart.

This weighs heavily on me.

It does though, too, have a positive side.

The positive side is this: as a critic and as a reporter I have the ability to support and promote and “look after” great work and endeavours and produce. Over the past 26 years – and longer – as a critic and as a reporter I’ve been lucky enough to offer support, via reviews and stories, to people and produce and endeavours. In my private life, I’ve tried to give a lot of support to my colleagues and, of course, to my family. It took me a long time to realise that I get more joy and nourishment out of the support and promotion of others than I do out of the support and promotion of myself. In this way, and because of this, the role of the critic is suited to me. It took me a long time to say those words. I am not comfortable in the role of the critic. But it suits me.

This will not come as a surprise to anyone who has ever stopped to think about me and my life, though, that there has always been a side of me that is a harsh critic of my own work and endeavours and produce, and that self-judgement has lead me at too-regular intervals into dark territory. Indeed sometimes, even, as I get older, I’ve been known to wonder: after all these years of trying to look after the work and endeavours and produce of others, who or what in the end is going to sit in judgement of me or, more accurately, look after me?

I took this photograph for no other reason than that I had a camera in my hand, on 13th Beach near Barwon heads in southern Victoria, very early one weekday morning. I later downloaded the image to my computer and labelled it, instantly, Mental Health. It’s visually stunning and the colours don’t hurt and silhouettes are always good. But there’s something about the body language of the people in the photograph, them each having surfed together in the early morning and then stepped from the water as one, that rouses envy in me, and leaves me touched, and transports me, and gets me emotional.

It’s a picture of a bunch of surfers. It’s more than that. It’s activity. It’s sunrise. It’s the friends that you wish you had. It’s one man with his head down, and another who’s flicking salt water from his hair, and another who is turning to make sure that the others are still there. It’s human beings, bonded, strong, grouped.

Details:

MENTAL HEALTH, By Campbell Mattinson
Limited Edition (50 fully-framed prints only)
Printed on fine art, archival, cotton rag premium paper.

Printed, framed and delivered to an Australian address.

• Frame Profile: Zeppelin Wide (Sustainably sourced, solid wood frame handmade in Australia.)

• Artwork Dimensions: 1414 x 1000mm (B0)

• External Dimensions: 1484 x 1070mm

• Glazing: UV Acrylic

• Mat Border: None

• Printing: Enhanced Matte, Archival, Ilford Cotton Rag.

• Hanging Hardware: Wire/Four Hole Plate

* Ignore the “List of Wines Being Submitted Field” when ordering.